In Search of Better Stories

Reflections on Breeding and Morning Workouts

     It’s early, but the music is poppin’. Everyone is here because they want to be. Morning workouts at the local Orange Theory gym will shake the sleep right out of your eyes and get you amped up for the day. The new instructor, beautiful, strong, and energized, is ready to lead a full-scale assault on lethargy and indecision. She hails from another country, but what she lacks in English skills, she more than makes up for in enthusiasm.

She bounds into the gym and shouts.

     “Are you ready for the baa-towel!”

     My wife is always ready for anything, but what in the world is a baatowel? Not wanting to ruin the vibe but at the same time seeking clarity, my beloved pipes up.

     “I don’t know that word!”

     A few others are also struggling to comprehend. The instructor puts up her dukes and pretends to fight. Everyone is starting to get it now — Battle — she’s asking if we are getting ready for the battle.

     As understanding dawns, a collective “Yes!” reverberates through the gym. The battle begins. The fearless commander with the lovely accent now leads the troops through a gruelling circuit, then another, then another; by the end of the baatowel everyone is soaked in sweat and breathing hard.

     She’s proud of the team. Everyone’s splat points are where they need to be. It’s time for a break. With a big smile, she yells out over the music.

     “OK, everyone, time to breed!”


    Later that day, my wife and I have a proper belly laugh over this hilarious smashing of the English language. We love that the world lives in our city. The benefits of broken English spice up our lives as much as these morning workouts.

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4 Responses

  1. I love a good malapropism or mispronunciation to start the day off, it keeps me chuckling all day!

  2. I love it! The funniest thing ever! I hope you continue to “batowel”thru life and “breed” too! Blessings Pam and Wayne.

  3. Oh Dennis. This article was hilarious. I needed that and had a good laugh. Thank you. Junie

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